When Bella was still in the hospital and doing so poorly, my favorite scripture was 1 Nephi 22:31, well at least the last line. The whole scripture is Nephi telling everyone that they have to be obedient to the commandments and endure to the end to qualify for salvation. My fav part is the last line, “And thus it is. Amen.” That is how I felt about everything Bella was going through. It was just this way and we just had to deal. Period. End of story.
We got her trach, fundo, and g-tube back in May with the hopes that it would allow Bella to come home and lead some type of normal life – at least a life at home and with her family, instead of at the hospital.
As time has passed, my expectations have risen. I want her to have a normal life. Then there are days like today and I am brought back to reality. A couple of people have met Bella for the first time lately and I have heard, “it’s a little hospital in here” – exactly what I was trying to avoid. Today Bella vomits if she sits up. I am reminded that this is her reality. Her life. We did accomplish our goal set in May. Bella is home with her family. The life that she has, while not what I want for her all the time, is her life. And she is happy with it. She loves her toys. She loves her movies. She loves interacting with the family. She is content, so I am content. And thus it is. Amen.
Chewing those fingers off
Playing with ladybug – the joy!