When Bella was still in the hospital and doing so poorly, my favorite scripture was 1 Nephi 22:31, well at least the last line. The whole scripture is Nephi telling everyone that they have to be obedient to the commandments and endure to the end to qualify for salvation. My fav part is the last line, “And thus it is. Amen.” That is how I felt about everything Bella was going through. It was just this way and we just had to deal. Period. End of story.
We got her trach, fundo, and g-tube back in May with the hopes that it would allow Bella to come home and lead some type of normal life – at least a life at home and with her family, instead of at the hospital.
As time has passed, my expectations have risen. I want her to have a normal life. Then there are days like today and I am brought back to reality. A couple of people have met Bella for the first time lately and I have heard, “it’s a little hospital in here” – exactly what I was trying to avoid. Today Bella vomits if she sits up. I am reminded that this is her reality. Her life. We did accomplish our goal set in May. Bella is home with her family. The life that she has, while not what I want for her all the time, is her life. And she is happy with it. She loves her toys. She loves her movies. She loves interacting with the family. She is content, so I am content. And thus it is. Amen.
Chewing those fingers off
Playing with ladybug – the joy!
3 comments:
She is home with her family. But she is getting stronger every day. There are times when she can come off the vent. In the hospital that was never possible. There will be a day when she can come off that vent. It may be a while still, but she'll get there!
We too have a little one with a trach, g-tube and very soon a Nissen. Parker is on a vent when he sleeps too.
What a beauty you have been blessed with.
Bella has a wonderful family who loves her so much and wants her to be happy. You are an amazing example and help me to know I can and must do everything I can for my own daughter. Thank you.
Post a Comment