Bella continues to improve. We have re-introduced all of her meds now and decreased her PEEP to 6. They will continue to monitor her and hopefully tomorrow her PEEP can go down to 5. Then they'll watch her for another 24 hours, and if she cooperates, we'll go home. Yeah!
I have been thinking about Texas Children's Hospital a lot lately.
I hate TCH. I hate how well I know this place. I hate the way this place smells. I hate how so many places remind me of something, something bad. I hate that I know the time that the free muffins are put out in the family room. I hate that I know how to silence all the alarms. I hate that I know what time I need to get up and shower before the resident or PA comes to do their morning assessment. I hate seeing a pink badge on someone because I know what it means. I know that it means their little one is in the ICU, fighting. I hate that I know that the green stickers are from the Ronald McDonald house. I hate seeing other parents and kids here because if they are here, they are sick. I hate that I know the schedule, the routine, the vibe of this place.
I love TCH. I love how well I know this place. I am grateful that I am not totally lost in the midst of each new scare. I am grateful that I can fit into my routine here for the comfort that routines bring me. I love how the nurses, child life specialist, PCAs, RTs and cleaning crew know my baby. They come up and hug me. They tell me how much she has grown. They exclaim over how big she is getting and all of her hair. They care about her. They tell me about their new babies and show me pictures. I love that I don't have to give a detailed medical history to the PAs, fellows and doctors - they already know. They know that I expect to be included in rounds - and they let me have input. I love how everyone remembers that Bella is not an only child and asks about my other girls.
If we have to be in the hospital, I'm grateful we are here at TCH.
4 comments:
Wow, that hit home hard. Too hard. Same thing here. The pink bands that means your child is here. Going into the PICU and knowing another child is dying from the butterfly taped to their door. How every resident and every nurse knows you by first name. Its a horrible thing!
That is just beautiful. I have thought the same thing about our childrens hospital and I havent even had to visit much yet. We were there 3 days a week for 4 weeks. I hated it but at the same time I loved it because I knew how much they cared for my child. When I read what you wrote an imagine of the pink stickers I see all over the people in the lunch room and I know they are there to stay and we get to go home. I pray your little one gets to go home soon. Be blessed.
I am so sorry you have had such a rollar coaster!!!! Praying Bella will be home soon (hope her sisters are handling it well) Your post reminded me so much of my sister when she spent so long at Childrens Boston with my niece...I cannot imagine going thru that...you are such a strong woman.
I think that last sentence sums it up. I hate that we need hospital when we do (and, thankfully, we need it for fewer and shorter visits right now). But if we have to be here, I'm glad when we are here here - in our own proper ward with the staff who know us by name.
I'm pleased she is improving and hope you are home soon.
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